i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
