he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
