Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
