giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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