He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
