if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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