Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
