Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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