this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
