I puked a lego.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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