We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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