you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
