dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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