As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
