we made out on top of his cat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
