just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
