she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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