I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
