toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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