Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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