Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize