Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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