Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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