I'm lost and stupid without you.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
