no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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