Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
