He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
