It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
