you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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