when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I died a long time ago.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
