it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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