I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize