Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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