so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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