he puts the penis in happiness.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
