Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
