Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
