I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize