Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
