My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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