it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
