This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is that strawberry winking at me??
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
