it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
