she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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