she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
