Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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