I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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