It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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