so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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