So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
