i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize