dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
