How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ttyl tear gas
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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