I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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