It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
