Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
