Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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