Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
