You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we're so committed to being not committed
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
