Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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