I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
