i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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