Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
