I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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