I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
