THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize
